It Just Got Real

I grew up in Houston, and although I left as fast as a plane could take me when I was 18, I will always call Texas home. I have spent most of my life in Texas (aside from five years in NY, a year in Switzerland and six months in Australia) so our move to California is both exciting and scary. The thought of it leaves a bittersweet taste in my mouth as I think of the friends and family I so wish we could take with us.

When I picture California, I of course think of sunshine and the ocean but I also think of Stevie Nicks and Joni Mitchel. There's a sense of this easy bohemian lifestyle that seems so free and easy, like late afternoon sun. Now I'm sure babies wake up in the middle of the night there, the same as they do here, and our struggles will follow us like children, but there is something so intoxicating about leaving. And it's double since we're west coast bound. 

There have been, however, moments since Jonathan's birth and during the arduous process of moving that I have felt a little lost. That this experience is happening to me rather than with me. I'm still feeling a bit like a farm animal that is required to produce milk on demand. In a land where my personal hygiene comes second, (if at all) where sleep is a long lost dream and it's all to be done with a smile on my unwashed face. This and the fact that my day and night routine will not change much, I will just be doing it in a state with better weather. All good reasons to feel a bit down. 

But this is the part where getting over ones self becomes key to survival and counting ones blessings seems like a no-brainer. When the unforgiving late summer mugginess lifts from my tired eyes and I come to. This is incredible and life is good. Too good to hardly believe. I will miss Texas and the life we have forged here, but I cannot wait for the adventure before us. It will change our lives forever, as travel and new places always does, and it will be pure joy to watch the kids take it all in. In this moment I believe Robert Plant said it best, "Made up my mind, make a new start. Goin' to California with an achin' in my heart"...yes indeed Mr. Plant, thank you. 

'The Things You Can't Remember, To The Things You Can't Forget'

I love Tom Waits. That's a line from his song Calendar Girl, and although he is certainly not referencing being a new patent, I hear that song in my head and think of the beginning. 

So here is what I can't forget:

-The first 3 months are the hardest 

-Nobody tells you quite how hard it's going to be

-You get to fall in love all over again

-You start to fear the night

-The fatigue is real and it will not let you go

-Nursing a child is the most womanly thing you can do

-Getting them to sleep in their cribs, on their backs is a challenge 

-It is a magical time that will be over before you know it

-There is nothing like watching the man you love hold your baby

And this is what I couldn't remember:

-Just how hard it is...

-...but each week gets a little bit easier

-Showering is a luxury

-Being smelly is a given

-Crying for no reason...me, not the baby

-Successful burping is a myth, whoever said it was easy, lied

-Newborns make the cutest noises, crying is not one of them

-Recovering from major surgery is a lot easier with the distractions of caring for a baby

-Newborns are cryptic

-Newborns hate baths even more than dogs

-How wonderful it is to fall in love all over again

I mean really, how could you not fall in love with this? It is so worth the struggle. Every exhausted minute of it.

Well hello there stranger

I am the WORST blogger ever, I'm sorry little blog that I have neglected you for so long. If you'll have me, I'd really like to make this work. 

Ok, now that we're better on that front, my blog has decided to be forgiving;), it recently occurred to me that I suddenly have all this time that I could be spending here. No we didn't hire a nanny, send Eve to day care or finally let Russia be her primary caregiver...we had another baby! I know that sounds a little crazy pants, how can a second child give you more free time? But it has. It may not be at the most desirable time of day, (the middle of the night) but hey, I'll take what I can get. 

I'm currently nursing Jonathan who is 12 days old and trying very hard to let my husband sleep, since once he goes back to work I will have little choice there. So I have that time, roughly 30 min, and then another 30 min after to keep him upright, so all that hard work isn't wasted on spit up, to write! I admittedly have been spending copious amounts of time on Facebook and Instagram and have decided I should  cut that cord and write a bit instead. 

Jonathan, like I said, is 12 days old. Is up over his birth weight already, weighing in at 8lbs. 4oz. and is 21 inches long. By the grace of God he will actually sleep in his crib (complete opposite from his big sister who, in the beginning, would only sleep if being held). Also by some act of Devine mercy he so far does not suffer from day/night confusion. A phenomena I thought pure myth until we went through it with Eve for about a month. 3am and she was ready to party...it was awesome...actually it was so NOT awesome that I thought I was going to lose my mind. Anyone living through that right now, I feel your pain, just know it gets better. 

Jonathan hates getting his diaper changed and true to his gender would rather be dirty, but other than that he's a pretty chill little guy. We are falling more and more in love with him every minute and we count ourselves extremely blessed that he's healthy. 

Here we are, a family of four. And I am the happiest Momma.